After 4 weeks and a day i can say YA has been filmed.
And i can also say that i'm going through a post-natal/ post-operatory period. That section that comes after you've done something important, whether that something is optional or not. And that part of it (cause it's also a part of it) has got its tricks and hassles.
A sensation of achievement combined with an empty stomach that smoothly turns painful and sore, but somehow keeps me smiling, as if I was living in a constant "dejavú". My present is a picture of memories and past circumstances. That "not being here" splits myself from reality, or at least it draws me out of the "reality" I believe to be real. Nevertheless, and as days go by I keep interacting in different ways... from the distance and at times it gives me glipmses of brightness. It can all turn quite sickly, when as a "control seeker" (like I am) you start to notice that parallel life taking place, without your aproval. Although new doors open up before my eyes, i still look at things with 2 pair of eyes, hers and mine.
It's a bizarre feeling.
The experience of being the string that holds one story together is remarkable and scary all the way through.
The experience of knowing that my character's story is the reason why the film has been made is unique and most of all: overwhelming.
A dream I've re-visited daily in my mind; which when real, can turn so into such intense experience.
During those four weeks i dived into totally new landscapes. I tried and eventually did look at things in a different way. I abandoned things I normally looked after and became interested in a whole new bunch of things.
Although YA is now over, to go back to "normality" or at least to the "normality" i knew before is harder done than it is said. Inevitably, right now i'm a combination of the life i knew before YA, and the life that took place during those 4 weeks as Daniela. I feel grateful for it, and it's also showed me how much more i've got to travel.
The sky is blue and the blueness endless.
I'll keep on searching for the Elefante solar. Thanks for reading and i'll leave you with some images from those 4 weeks.
Well done Marianna – I know what you're talking about – that feeling when its over, but its not over in your heart or your mind.
ResponderBorrarYou'll find yourself again – but you'll find a better version of yourself. I hope you get to do this kind of work again.
Well done,
Simon Malcolm,
Adelaide, South Australia.